On a total fluke I happened across a thread on an online forum regarding depression. This thread was kicked off in 2007…. that’s right – 13 years ago and for some reason, reading in 2020, this thread gave me solace. Group therapy … people chiming in regarding their own struggles with depression. Jesus what a revolution. For the first time in forever, I read accounts of people who see themselves the same way I see myself.
….if one wants to get through it, they do. They find help. It starts and ends with the individual.
if one wants to get through it, they do. They find help. It starts and ends with the individual.
I think its worth the journey, the journey back to yourself.
advrider…..
I have been struggling lately with the person who looks back at me in the mirror. That man is an adulterer, a fraud, a shadow of the person who existed prior to the affair. Lovable perhaps, someone with much to offer the world around him – but in his opinion, a charlatan. I am committed to working my way through this fog, it feels very much like a glacier is pressing down on me and it’s grinding it’s way across…. but fuck me – it’s what I have to muscle through to get to the other side.
I revisited some music lately which causes me to have a massive emotional response – suffice it to say, whatever it is, it causes me to de-compensate. Happiness is the only thing that comes to mind – but still it’s odd…. in this case, it’s the juxtaposition of the vocals of Wilson Pickett and Duane Allman’s guitar mastery…. listen if you dare – at 2:43 it gets amazing….
So Peter – what is this of connections …. what in the heck are you getting at? I’ve spent some time speaking with Rocco – he keeps telling me to let people love me, to accept their kindness and accept that there are folks in my world who care for me. That my role in their existence is important. You can, if you are depressed, understand how this is hard to fathom. My take on this is somehow you need to accept and take things on faith. I am fortunate in the connections I have made with those people who care for me and offer a different viewpoint.
It’s been two days (or nights) of solid sleep for me … this seems to make a difference in how I perceive the world around me – I am thankful for the sleep. Thankful for the support, thankful for the love that surrounds me.
Maybe this isn’t so salty….too sweet perhaps? I’ve always been told it’s the salt that brings out the sweet…..