About 3ish weeks ago, mid-November I started a new job. It was the culmination of many months of being out of work and the rollercoaster of looking for a job, interviewing, talking about myself and trying to come off as cogent and responsible while not seeming too much like a douchebag. It’s like speed dating, only with a little more at stake when you have responsibilities to people and financial institutions. It’s nice to have that chapter closed and move into the next chapter work-wise.
I approached my job search as one does, with intent and maximum effort. I allocated blocks of time searching out opportunities, reached out to my network of peers and friends and had many interviews. As anyone who’s done this knows, the ups and downs of the process are a grind. Highs and potential are highs and repeated rejection is a low. Throughout this process I trusted the universe and felt like I would end up where I needed to be. In the end, that is exactly what happened. I landed at a small startup (I’m employee #37!) surrounded by a small group of kind, focused and diligent folks who share the same vision. I am on a team. Typing those words gives me goosebumps – these are GOOD PEOPLE and I feel so fortunate to have this opportunity.
The opportunity, as I see it is limitless. More important to me though is every voice at the table is heard. Everyone has something to contribute. There’s no predetermined plan, no egos from the top down. It’s just the work. Basic blocking and tackling, wash, rinse, repeat. In the weeks since I’ve started I’ve worked longer days and created/accomplished more than I thought were possible. I’ve had more fun, more success more impact than I thought was possible. In short, it’s been good. Better than I could have imagined even in my wildest dreams. I have meaningful work with the potential of hanging up my spurs someday in a much different place than I started my career. Even the notion of that seems far away and yet now more of a reality. More good stuff!
This goodness has been pervasive (I like that word used positively) lately. The day prior to my start date I shared with my love how an anvil could have fallen from the sky and killed me that day and I would have died a very happy man. 3 weeks later on a quiet Saturday morning with coffee and my dog at my feet, I can say the very same thing. I feel a level of joy and contentment I don’t know that I’ve ever felt before. Just sitting with myself I am content, if not happy to embrace what’s happening now, today without looking backwards and beating myself up for yesterday. Tomorrow is on the horizon, there are trips and plans, but being present in the moment has priority. Today is good.
Earlier in the week, I was speaking to my therapist Ray Brown about how things seem to be falling in place. In my groove of not taking things personally, about leaning back and letting the madness go on by me. Certainly, there are things that are stressful. Life hasn’t just turned into a world of pillows, puppies and happiness. Real life is happening. People I love are still suffering loss, life continues to throw curveballs, the global pandemic is still having an effect on everything. However, in the middle of this hurricane of life, I feel centered and content in my space and more importantly in my own skin.
I am able to love and be loved, Able to let go, be in the moment and experience what’s happening around me with a happy and grateful heart. This post was inspired by my need to share how I’m feeling today. It was meant as a small sentence to share with the person who has transformed how I perceive the world around me, to the person I turn to most times before I speak to Ray. In the end I guess it turned out to be less salty and sweeter post. I don’t really mind reporting good stuff for a change. The loneliness I’ve been feeling has gone away, I have myself to keep me company.
If you’re reading this and have troubles, or know someone who is suffering, be kind (to them or yourself). Give the person looking back at you in the mirror a break. Love, forgive, be someone’s rock, be your own rock. Love large and forgive quickly. Above all else, stay a little salty and enjoy life.